Astrology: Case for building a Recession-Proof career!

Listening to stock market updates and stock market prospects on the business shows on television has got to be quite similar to listening to some of the expert cricket commentators telling us which way the match is likely to swing! Especially enjoyable used to be the jokes attributed to Lala Amarnath which would wind up something like this: If India bat solidly for the first fifty overs and the weather remains dry like it is and England continue to field poorly the way they have been and drop some more catches, then India will be in the drivers seat!

Expert comments on the prospects of the market aren't quite different. If Infosys, Wipro, NIIT, and Satyam deliver good results and we don't get into a war with Pakistan and America manages to nab Osama, then hopefully the market sentiments will improve and we should see a strong rally take place!

Sometimes I wonder if fortune telling isn't the best and safest profession going. After all the age-old profession does not seem to be much different from what we see on television these days in the form of expert comments! There isn't really much in terms of stringent requirements in the form of accountability. If something goes wrong you can always blame it on the sentiments of a wavering public, which does not know how to act logically based on scientific data. And in any case, these programs are aired so frequently, that before you can act on their advice, the advice is likely to change. So you will forget what had been advised earlier anyway!

These shows seem to be popular too - just like fortune telling is! After all man has ever wanted to delve into the unknown - whether it is events of future, or mysteries of outer space. So what's wrong with our universities wanting to teach Astrology? Hopefully, we will have more people opting for a career that is based on a more scientific method of fortune telling than predicting future by depending on parrots!

Look at the positive side of it. You could use this strength to attract foreign tourists. After so many years, the Taj remains our only anchor point for attracting tourists. There is no point trying to attract them by showing off your scientific advancements or developments based on these. What you can show, the developed nations can show better! The tourists would like to come to India only if they can see things that they can't see back home! The Maharaja wasn't popular for nothing! So use astrology and palmistry to your advantage. And you can only do that if our fortunetellers are able to build credibility. A formal education on the subject could help.

Still skeptical? Well, think of those who predict weather and make a hash of it. Remember, the day our guys predicted that there would be no fog in Delhi in the month of December? The very next day we had flights getting disrupted because of dense fog! Remember too that the guys who make these predictions are scientists. No wonder, science and the art of predicting the future don't mix!

So there is definitely a case for teaching subjects like astrology and palmistry in our universities. We need dedicated people who understand the subject, not scientists and finance experts who also double up as fortunetellers. See, I have opened up a new career for our teeming millions.

The good news is that employment opportunities should be aplenty. These people could station themselves at every tourist spot and in every hotel to cater to the foreign tourists. That way they could earn valuable foreign exchange for us. In fact the snake charmers - the other lot for which India seems to be well known abroad, could team up with these fortunetellers to attract the crowds! (It's amazing how much synergy exists in our country, and how we have failed to capitalize on it!) 

In fact even during times of terrorist attacks on developed nations, when the average foreign tourist decides not to fly, this career would flourish. As we have seen, the multinationals decide to downsize their operations fearing recession and actually manage to bring about recession with their austerity measures. (Then they wonder why recession isn't going away! But that's a different matter.) The swelling numbers of people who lose their jobs during times like these could be a great potential target segment for the fortunetellers. All of these unemployed people would want to know when their bad times would be over and the sunny days return! Imagine, recession would actually feed this profession. In a scenario where recession seems to be looking for an excuse all the time to hit us, sky could be the limit for fortunetellers!

Those particular about seeking only government jobs need not despair either. The parliament house and the state assemblies are full of the rich and famous who plot their every move after consulting astrologers. The government could provide in-house service to our representatives by installing several booths with fortunetellers within the premises. That way ministers could seek instant advice from these counters to assess the impact of any statement they are about to make on the floor of the house! Chances are that greater efficiencies will also be achieved in the operations of the legislatures as the need to adjourn the house due to lack of clarity on issues may be substantially reduced.

For the extremely finicky, who do not believe anything that has not been printed by the computer, software based packages that dole out reams of paper with astrological predictions could do the trick! So you see, the market potential for this profession is really large.

In a nutshell, there is a strong case for teaching astrology in our universities. Those who oppose the move have no idea of what science cannot achieve!

Sumit Sharma is an IT industry veteran of over 20 years and author of the book titled "The Corporate Circus".